I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
