ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
