You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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