We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
