I wannas sexs uuuuu
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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