hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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