Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i want to swaddle you in tequila
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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