Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
