Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
