no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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