the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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