So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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