oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
