he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
