So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
