i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
