ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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