He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
