Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So much rum. So many feels.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
