Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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