Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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