I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
