hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
