I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
