NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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