ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
