Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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