my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
