I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Operation Purity has been aborted
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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