Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Banned from zoo.
Again?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
