I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
