question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Randomize
