Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
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