butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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