No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
