i jhust puked up my retainher.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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