If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
