hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
