I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize