hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
