We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
