I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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