On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just threw up on my dentist
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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