The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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