You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize