thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
