Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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