butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
