I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
