well I can't set my house on fire every night
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
