So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
