if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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