he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
