We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize