yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish I only lived at night.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
