That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
