you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
