I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's never too late to be topless.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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