so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
