Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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