youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
